Why Now ?

First of all im just going to start with sorry… sadly this isn’t going to be one of those almost  funny little numbers I put up here but more a im feeling horribly sorry for myself/alone so terribly lonely..

I don’t know why and its starting to really bug me why but I cant stop thinking about C.. I thought I was doing so well.. I was getting on with my life.. I’ve been out, I’ve socialised, I’ve kissed a few boys, I’ve been to bingo.. all rather successfully (other than the bingo) without having to much of a problem. Obviously he has invaded my thoughts at some time of another most days but the last 2 days he’s just been sat there like a gremlin.

I have this theory/my friend J from Cornwall said that its possible that because I’ve been ill and a little down and generally feeling sorry for myself my mind has been left to wonder.. Great.

I still have these stupid thoughts that one day he will work out what a mistake he has made and really I am amazing.. sadly I don’t think this is true.. Its all very odd.. things like he never really like to drink or hang out in the local village that has become a second home to me. But now were not together its like he is now the socialite of the village.. maybe it was never that he didn’t want to go to the village or drink.. maybe it was he never wanted to go to the village with me..! I’ve also been thinking recently that he was trying to make out that when we broke up it was all about him.. he didn’t want kids and marriage (who does at 22.. I 100% don’t thanks very  much I would leave it in Tesco’s.. I can barely look after myself and my handbag let alone a child and a expensive bit of jewellery.. if you know me I’m very good at losing expensive bits rather than the cheap tacky stuff I somehow seem to keep for years) anyway.. maybe its not that he doesn’t want them.. its that he doesn’t want them with me!!

I did really try very hard to be ok with everything that our relationship through at me.. I did the 32 weeks training and him not talking and only sleeping when I saw him.. the 7 month tour in Afghanistan, the only wanting to go out with the lads ect.. and sometimes m sure I was a total pain in the arse.. when aren’t girls.. but apparently just wasn’t enough and I’m not sure what else I could of done. I think my biggest problem is I miss my best friend, and the fact he now talks to other people when it used to be me..  still fingers crossed that soon ill be able to walk into a pub and not make a fool out of myself hay..

Anyway .. quick self sorry note for the evening.. hopefully will have dreamt up some funny little morsel for tomorrow..

Internet Dating

This is a new idea that J my brothers girlfriend believes I should get into.. But then again apparently I reminder her of Polly off this years Master chef.. if you don’t remember which one she is she was the frizzy haired slightly plump one.. Brill..

Anyway… im still a little speculative about whether this is a good idea. Mainly because I used to tell my single friends they should get on and join the 21^st century and that is Internet Dating.. slightly thinking that I wouldn’t ever have to… how wrong was I. So here I am.. Thinking of the possibility. I think my biggest problem is I slightly associate internet dating with it being full of people who are Weird, Ugly, Possible killers, Criminals, and the homeless man who lives down the street – ( I think his ad would consist of “ Free living or Wild at heart”)

However you never know who you might meet.. I know many people who have had slightly traumatic experiences with internet dating but also some that have ended in total bliss.. (I need to maybe make some kind of graph and work out which site has the most success then join that one)

The other problem is.. do they actually look like they do in there photos.. and lets be honest no one uses a ugly photo of themselves… or a true likeness as I like to think of it.

 I mean I have a few nice photos of me and out of those none of them actually look like me!! So when I put up my beautiful shot that I may have casually photoshoped some of Kate Hudson’s hair and Megan Fox’s figure on to my photo and then up-load it as my profile photo they will be more than slightly surprised when a shorter, plumper, slightly odd looking me turns up!! HELLO… O it would be super awkward. But then again… what if I had seen a photo of Brad Pitt cross with Heath Ledger I would think I was in for a treat.. and then the lanky, spotty, greasy haired games salesman turns up.. at this point lets be honest I would put the red rose I had brought with me so we could recognise each other (because both our photos were fake .. and everyone carries a red rose when there meeting people they don’t know) and casually drop it on the table of a none suspecting person. Pick up my ipod and casually walk out of the coffee shop!

Anyway these are my first thoughts about the internet dating game..!! I say this like I will never internet date when you all already know I have up-dated my dating website profile 3 times today already!!!

The Dating Game Rule No 1....................

So last night due to this fun cold/cough I seemed to have acquired in the last few days I was wide awake and suddenly the thoughts of dating again hit me..

Now I don’t actually think I’ve ever been on a real date because I’ve always been involved with people before things like dating... So it got me thinking. There is a book out for men regarding dating which I saw a few years ago and all the rules that you need to keep to.. is this still the same? also what earth is it that your meant to wear on a date.. And how do you know if you are on date.. How utterly mortifying if you think are and your not.. or even if you don’t think you are and then make No effort and you work out u are.. its all so tricky.

I’m also not particularly good at the games business.. and how do you know if you are meant to playing the games.. such as the don’t reply to a txt for 3 days and then send a weird reply.. also do you look to keen if you reply to a txt or a message that hasn’t got a question in it..!! is that to keen..

Now don’t get me wrong I haven’t exactly been inundated with hundreds of men wanting to take me out... !! in fact quiet the opposite but I’m not worrying mainly because i already no my future will consist of the title  Princess Matilda Windsor.. obviously Prince Harry has yet to find me but its just a waiting game!!

Now due to the lack of sleep i took it upon myself to Google Dating Rules... NEVER DO THIS.. esp  if you already know you will brake every rule as i know i would...
 ‘
DATING DON'TS - (these from now on will be my rule book.. hopefully) Now this what we are supposed to NOT do..  but if you are like me at all i have probably broken all the rules already and I’m not even dating anyone!! great...

No 1 . Don't call, text message or email someone you've just started seeing more than once a day unless they reply (or in the event of an emergency). Desperation and instability are major turnoffs.

Brilliant if anyone knows me well then this rule will not work for me at all.. also what is in the event of a emergency... it could be... OMG i have just been hit by a bus and now I’m lying here not being able to move.. which to be honest the first person to come to my head in such a emergency wouldn’t be someone I’ve just started dating more likely to be to cry down the phone to my mum!! Or.. is an emergency .. OMG i have forgotten to record Glee ... Because lets be honest this is a real emergency... and against the first person i would want contact is cry down the phone to my mum.. also you wouldn’t call the person u just started dating because you wouldn’t get to watch the episode anyway.. in less u brake like 5 rules and just turn up on the doorstep one day announce and claim your there to watch Glee.

Also if I’m going to be honest i do almost radiate desperation and instability so its all gone to pot already!! I also like how this is described as a MAJOR TURNOFF.. great... does this mean if I don’t radiate Desperation and instability but if I turn up in my crop top, big hair, orange skin, snake skin mini skirt and platforms they might still find me attractive!!! I don’t think so some how...

Anyway this is just the first rule of many and I will keep you up-dated with the others..

If anyone has any advice it would be fantastic to know... although i should point out I haven’t yet actually got a date I just like to be prepared... you never know when Prince harry pops in to your local... I hear he likes the South West.

Which leaves one thing to think about…. Internet dating… YAY or  NAY.

Bank Holiday Weekend

Bank holidays normally provide the Knowles family with some odd entertainment which normally involves one of us hurting ourselves, getting in trouble, a row or something genially exciting happening. I’m glad to say this weekend hasn’t disappointed ..

P and G (P being my sister who lives in London and G her boyfriend) were due to come down on Friday after work and join us all in Devon for a weekend of family fun times!!.. At 7:00pm on Friday when my brother phoned them to see where they were we weren’t expecting the tone to be less than amused and they were stuck in traffic less than a mile from there house!!! J (my brother) and his girlfriend J and me were due out anyway on Friday night to celebrate our friend S's birthday.. Once meeting in our local pub for a bit of food and some general bantering entertainment which included me thinking i could participate in a drinking game that involved throwing a cigarette packet on its side.. if it didn’t then you had to drink how ever many fingers you have just broken the chain of... this would have been fine if i was any other drink than Wine.. (after a rather horribly drunken under aged drinking night at my sisters 21st which involved me downing 1 to many glasses, i have never been the same again when it comes to downing wine.. ) I liked to think i kept my composer tho!! The best part was when S produced her birthday cake which was AMAZING.. and yes we are such bad friends she made her birthday cake herself!!! however she does love to cook and bake before any one starts frowning.. (actually our birthday present to her was a cake tin, some cupcake cases and cookie cutters.. There was also a baking book but sadly i didnt read the front cover very well and it wasn’t till i got home i saw it said on the front "For Gluten Free, Sugar Free, Fat Free baking..." i for one would not enjoy eating these cakes and nor would she enjoy baking!!! Total shocker. Anyway.... Once we paid the bill and sorted our lives out we ventured up in to Topsham town to see what else we could get up to. We rocked up to another pub called Drakes where there was a live band on and managed to squeeze ourselves into a table.. Lots of drinking then insured including some of the girls getting brought some shots but a nice elderly gentleman who didn’t quite understand the phrases.. Jagabomb .. so they got Sambucca instead. It was here where me R (S's room mate) discussed our future wedding plans as my parents have already pretty much sold me off to him!! nice.. i didn’t think the Knowles were in for arranged marriages but i think i might be in one.. Sorry R.. Don’t take less than a million!! or at least 4 Camels.

Once i got home around 12 P and G had finally arrived... once i regaled them with not particularly funny stories of the night that i found highly amusing we all ventured to bed.. not before however in trying to tell G how to turn off the lights in the sitting room i seemed to turn in to some drunken, snorting donkey which i found hilarious and he found perfectly odd... i just could understand how he didn’t know that "turn it off by the wire " meant.. However 10 minutes later and 2 lights successfully turned off i made it to my bed.

Saturday morning :- Slight hangover and my cold was getting worse i was feeling horribly self pity for myself and after breakfast and pretending of getting up to start the day i went back to bed to watch films whilst others went about there business... It wasn’t till around 6 all the fun started..

The neighbours turned up for a drink which was lovely they are hopefully to buy a house soon and came to ask what the area was like.. all fine till M noticed that in our kitchen a nice flame seemed to have appeared.. Somehow our breadbasket that was sat on top of the cooker had caught alight... Brilliant start to the evening.. once we had opened all the doors, stopped the fire alarms, caught and put out the fire and settled down all of us with a strong glass of something it all seemed rather entertaining.. bit of an excitement!!

Tonight was also THE FOOTBALL.... how ever exciting this is to most males on the planet i sadly was not excited at the least. Mum had this fantastic idea that me, mum, P and J could spend the evening cooking Home made Chinese in the effort not to have to deal with the football.. what she hadn’t planned on tho is quite how complicated this might have been. Also not helped by the fact the 3 girls.. me, P and J would cut 2 spring onions each and then decided we might like a quick one in the pub and then leave mum with the rest of the prepping.. However it was Delish what ever mother Knowles says.. We also had to start Crispy Duck Pancakes (marks and Spencer’s.. have u ever tried to make crispy duck.. it never works... also with my brothers delightful wisdom turned to mum after and said... "lovely meal mum but by far the best bit was the crispy duck...." poor mum that was the bit she didn’t cook)

Once we had finished on the mammoths amount of food and cheesecake that J and J made it was definitely time for bed till the boy located the film Face Off on TV... this is where i got horribly confused between Face Off and Con Air.. apparently thinking they were the same film... G did not appreciate the ... "so when is there the plane crash and Johnny T turns evil" questions.. not the ... "so if he has his face what happens to the other ones face.. and do they ever revert... haven’t they changed yet.... did he mean to kill his son" type questions... by about 10 minutes into the film i still had no idea and poor G was trying very hard to not shout at me i feel..

This takes us to today when i have mainly napped in preservation for drinking this evening.. it is a Sunday after all!!!!

Hopefully this evening will produce some more banter i can fill you in on..

The Boys!!

Now this is a blog about me and my life and i thought i should fill some of you in the people who have already entered my life and then left again! Sometimes for the best...So lets start with The Boys.. The boys mainly being Ex's when it comes to me ... This may take some time to say so maybe go and make a cup of tea as this could take awhile!!!

The first love of my life was a boy called D... apparently we were inseparable as children.. when I say children I mean babies.. so I always feel that I missed out on him when he upped and moved from our small hamlet of tale.. on the odd year when our two families meet the parents always start piping up about a photo of us both naked on a toy tractor.. and when ever we revisit some past home movies of our birthdays im always the girl just lifting my dress above me head flashing my daisy print pants.. Obviously even at that age I was trying to get the boys attention!!

Then there was the real loves.. J.. I believe he was my first real love.. we had our first kiss behind our theatre at school after a production of "why the whales came" I remember I was a chorus women and was wearing a practically fetching Orange skirt.. Luckery we are still good friends. Although haven’t seen him in about a gazillion years.

After J came C.. a Cornish man... Need I say any more....... The fact im in love with his father though could have meant we have stayed very good friends and has recently got engaged .. How very grown up!!!

After C came A... Now A was the one who I will always have a special little thought for.. i was in year 10 and he was in Upper 6th.. We were the talk of the school!!! well i liked to think so. He also had a car and could drive me around..!! Fantastic... Even if he was a little of the thin side of life and had ginger hair.. SORRY... Strawberry blond!! However to me A was my first real love and was gutted when it all came to an end. (also he was present for one of the MOST embarrassing moments my father has put me through when introducing a boyfriend to my parents... A was the first boy I brought home to meet mother and father Knowles.. Dads first initial thing to do was shake A by the Hand whilst repeating... "Well Done...Well Done".. Like he had won some competition.. well done young man you are dating my daughter.. Congrats on that!! Thanks Dad.. however im sad to say it didn’t stop there... Daddy Knowles proceeded to through his arms wide like the pope and just utter the words "Welcome" as he looked around our house!!! ooo it was horrible... Not only had he congratulated this poor man for dating his daughter but also welcomed him into our house like priest!! no wonder the relationship didn’t work out he probably thought we came from some kind of cult)

After A came M.. Now M was a interesting one!! (my darling sister P likes to tell this story by actually mixing 2 boys into one to make it sound even worse than it is.. Thanks P.. She likes to describe him as a boy who was a Goth and had a matrix style leather jacket that Billowed out when ever he walked.. she’s probably started adding in other details like he wore make-up and thought he was a vampire.. This is not true!!) M came from Exeter and was a year above me.. he was one of those boys i think i thought i could change.. he was very deep and often had something going on but i think i thought it meant he was a bad boy in my strange way.. sadly this relationship also came to and end after he decided he preferred his Ex.. funnily enough i got a call 3 days after he broke up with me to say he had made a mistake..always new I special haha.
After M came D .. i think.. D was a boy i met through a old primary school friend.. apparently he also went to primary school with us but not that i remember i was probably still to caught up with the D who lived in our Hamlet and throughing my dress over my head to get his attention!! Anyway D was lovely, suitable nice, dressed well, and actually did wear make-up sometimes... it was lovely while it lasted but fizzled out pretty quickly.

After D was W.. now W wasn’t really a boyfriend I don’t believe.. he was more of .. a pretend boyfriend.. although possibly one of the best with the fact his mum lived in SA, he had a house, a car, a business, good looking.. the makings of a brilliant man.. sadly i think the thought of dating a 18 year old might have had its draw backs such as i was still at school!!! but i did have a fab skiing trip with the girls in Val D'sere where he happened to be at the same time..

I am actually adding this one in as I did technically forget another J.. (thank you GT for pointing this one out) J and I met in Cornwall (another one I know) he was actually a year below be at school and now looking back a little strange.. My friend T used to tell me this a lot of the time that he, was but as usual I felt I had picked a gooden and really she was talking nonsense.. (I promise T to listen to you a little better from now on re boys) Now J was interesting.. I remember meeting him on St Mawes night in the summer over Falmouth week and I was with my lover that is GT.. or the Taz.. I also seem to remember that he was talking to her and described me as having a "Great Personality" um.. thanks.. that’s exactly what a girl wants to hear/that’s what you tell your mates when you kiss a not particularly hot person... "its alright guys she has a great personality".. YUCK. Anyway this summer wasn’t the best for any of us and once the summer was over so was the relationship to a lot of peoples excitement... Not sure if this is the right order to put him in but as you can see from the fact I forgot him in general I hope you will excuse.

After I left school at 18 I hit Portscatho, Cornwall for some serious Summer time.. It was here I was reacquainted with a old friend who I grew up with and again have apparently got lots of naked pictures of us playing together as children.. Although his mother who liked to show me old photos of the families only ever seemed to have photos of my brother and sister... slight favouritism there I feel!!! C who you have already read about is/was my biggest love and I will probably love him for the rest of my life. After 3 and half years sadly it came to an end in February of this year. The biggest problem im found is the fact he was also my best friend and now I have lost my best friend and my boyfriend..(and possibly my bed time monkey… the decision is still out with the jury at this time) but hopefully over time I will be able to put my feelings behind me and we will be able to revert to being friends. Hopefully..

Anyway there is a little insight to The Boys... I'm pretty sure i have got them all down.. but im terribly sorry if ive missed anyone off !!!

Lonely Hearts x2

This is one of my favourite things on a Thursday... The lonely hearts column in the Express and Echo... now i have already written a little about my favourite page that is Exeter Dating.. but i thought i should introduce to this week's favourite..

"Male seeking Helena - 70's, 5ft, Under 10 Stone, Leave a message please,"

Now the good points about this advert is its short and sweet and straight to the point .. or is it..

Now is HE in his 70s, 5ft and under 10stone.. or is he looking for someone who is 70's, 5ft and under 10 stone..?

Because if he is... then.. well he’s a catch.. !!! or if he is looking for someone who resembles Helena of Troy i think he might have a search on his hand and next time should put some more effort in to his advert!!!

This is all i have to say on the mature... What would your lonely hearts advert say?

 

Oaps, Bingo, Elasticated waist bands and a bottle of wine later!!

Its Tuesday night.. well Wednesday morning 12:30am to be exact and I’m wondering on home from a house party .. on a TUESDAY.. This is apparently aloud when you single i've decided. But lets start at the beginning..

One Tuesday every month in our little town (you must call it a Town and not a village else people will actually hurl abuse at you in the street..) of Topsham we have BINGO night in St Matthews Hall.. Now those of you that have attended a Mecca Bingo or even a Gala Bingo will understand the concept of a bingo hall... however St Matthews Town Hall is not like this... all those i can imagine parts being the same.. mainly the people who attend. Me, My neighbour M, Her Daughter G, and my Oldest friend A rock up to the hall at 6:30.. Bingo doesn’t actually start till 7.30 but as M says.. "you've got to get the best table".. So an hour early we rock up (obviously just before we had accidentally drifted in to the local co-op brought them out of Sweet Chilli Sensation crisps and wine) and guess what.. most of the tables are already occupied .. by the elder generation of Tops though I might add. G, A and myself probably being the youngest there by a good 40 years.

Now as this is around my 5th time of attending the local bingo night me and M who is a avid player of the bingo have already sussed out who is in the hall already and who is yet to arrive.. We like to think of our selves as the "Banter" table... other than us we have... The Shawls Table.. (a family work in the local bakery and all turn up for a quick gamble) .. The G&T table.. never seen such organisation when it comes to bringing along your own gin and tonics .. this table have it down to an art.!! There’s the Scary table.. mainly consisting for a man and his wife who on my first attempted at bingo turned me and went... "your not very good at this are you dear... want to rub me for good luck... " ( I should point out at this point i was having a rather dyslexic moment where the caller would shout... 2 and 3 .. 23.. and i would colour in the number 32.. total shocker.. causing M to have a mild panic attack that not only has she got to mark her card she also has to read mine upside down and make sure i dab the correct number.. thankfully i now think i have a had of the numbers) Anyway as you can imagine this continues with me and M discussing in not particularly hushed tones .. ooo i wonder where the ....... table is.. there late!!

Bingo starts at 7.30 prompt... anyone who enters later is scorned a pone as causing a disturbances.. but i can imagine having your hearing aid in trying to hear the numbers, dab the correct number and having our table laughing slightly loudly as well as someone clumping in to the hall wouldn’t be ideal. However.. as always.. we managed it.. My friend S was also coming for a quick round or 2 and at 7.20 when she hadn’t arrived i feared for her and the scorned looks she would receive once she entered.. and as if by magic.. 7.35 on the first book... in clobbers S.. S is rather tall and a little like me quiet loud so as she enters in her platforms whilst trying to bend down as if not to be seen and whispering.. "sorry, sorry, Sorry..." Probably not helped by the rest of the table laughing.

I am sad to say though that out of all of us we didn’t actually win anything!!! however had a brilliant evening entertainment esp when A who got a little over excited about the fact she completed a line on a booklet  shouted "ME" at the top of her voice which stopped everyone playing and the famous.."oooooo" coming for the crowds.. however what she had forgotten was we were actually now playing for 2 lines and not 1.. so all a bit embarrassing..

Around half time i got a phone call from my new flat mate to be B asking where i was as she was in the pub and fancied a drink.. i responded with the usual.. "ill be there at 9 right now im playing the Bingo" her response was.. " ooo god i've been telling everyone how cool and sophisticated you are .. and your playing bingo!!"

Anyway we agreed to meet up after i had won my hundreds of pounds at the bingo.. sadly none of this came about apart from A winning a box of chocolates on the raffle which she then left at my house! BONUS.

A, s and myself move on to the pub where we meet up with B my new flat mate, S's friend L and a few others.. after a large glass of my favourite white wine and soda we all congregate outside where S's boyfriend M turns up and there flat mate R. By this point I have had at least 4 glasses of wine and anyone that knows the Knowles Girls we can't really handle more than 2 before we start feeling the drunkenness take hold. At this point i get an e-mail from a boy i have been in contact with asking what i was up to and if i wanted to go in to Exeter.. Of cause i didn’t.. i was outside the lighter with friends and having a good few glasses so i told him to come to Topsham!! After message to message i got a little bored and said that i was there so if he wanted to come for a drink more the merrier.. (arnt i being good in my singleton life)

Now it being a Tuesday everyone started to drift off home as everyone obviously has work the next day till its just me and B left to party the night away.. B comes up with the great idea of crashing her friends J's house who lives a few roads away with a couple of bottles and carry on the nights excitements.. To which i obviously go along with .. after only meeting this J once before and i believe i was drunk then to.. so why not make it twice!!

We rock up to this house and bang on the door.. J in his very good hosting skills lets us in and on we carry with the chat. at this point i get another message from said boy who would like to come to Topsham now if the pubs are still open to which i respond they probably aren’t on Tuesday at 11:30pm.. to which he again asks me to go to Exeter.. again why would i want to go to Exeter on a Tuesday.. even when i was in sneaking out of school aged 18 did i go in to Exeter on a Tuesday..

By 12:30am i feel its probably time i hit the home ward track as i did have to be up for work myself and be slightly compesmentus when in work.. just before i was leaving tho there was a stroke of good luck.. i got a txt off HIM. HIM stands for Hot Irish Man.. (mother if you could look away now this would be great/we never discuss this when i go home because i know you'll just have questions) Hot Irish Man or we could call him by his name of D. (i found D in a night club a few weeks ago when i went out for a girls night out dressed as The only way is Essex.. tbh it was pretty impressive anyone paid any of us any attention.. and even worse we fitted in in the night club we went to.. Big hair, Orange skin, Sequins at the ready!!! we looked HOT) Anyway back to the story.. D sent me a txt asking if i was still awake as he could sleep as he had just come back from Another stag in Malaga.. (always tasteful) anyway i replied i was and was trying to wonder home from a house ive never been to before in my Town.. not village.. To which i get a phone call.. Much more fun wondering on home whilst on the phone to someone.. esp as it stops my little brain of thinking.. i think someone is fallowing me.. can i hear footsteps.. i definitely can.. o god im going to die.. in the 5 minutes it took me to get home..

So there ends my Tuesday night of this week... left the house at 6:15pm and ventured back home at 12:30 .. in all i think it was a rather successful night..

Sorry about the essay today !!!

China Town

So on Monday we were meant to have a Works Outing.. (Always an interesting one - last time I socialised with people i work with outside of work hours it was our Christmas Party and I was on total Top Form.. those of you that know the story will remember how utterly fantastic I was/inebriated.. I’m sure my director was a big fan of me when we went for a Curry around 9 after 10 hours of drinking - yes 10.. we started on the champs in the office at 11- I couldn’t even read the menu and only the word Korma came out of my mouth.. which I then didn’t eat.. Brilliant work there tills.. I also remember phoning my friend at the time V and making her speak to my boss.. again another moment well spent.. including the next morning my director phoning me up at work and laughing at me.. Great impression. Now when ever we speak about THAT night he offers up the advice.. surprise u remember anything Tilly)

Anyway we had planned an outing to the Chinese in Exmouth for M's birthday who works in the office.. All set we had booked in the diaries everyone was up for it.. well 5 of us.. but then we are a small office.. However on Monday morning our director dropped out as he had "tonsillitis" (I think he was just a little concerned about spending the night with 4 girls), So we were down to 4.. Girls work night out it was...

7:00pm - K our every other Saturday girl also dropped out .. apparently someone couldn’t pick up her little girl from Brownies.. what it is to be a mother!! so we were down to 3.. However into the car we got and tottled off down to the local Chinese in Exmouth..

After 2 bottles of wine (only 2 of us drinking) and enough Chinese to feed the whole of china  I really thought I might die from food over load.. why o why did we eat those Banana fritters at the end with added.. yes added Ice cream.. was it really needed..

Now I know I have written enough to feed the whole of China but I don’t think anyone would understand the amount we ate with out being there.. So here is a little list and remember there was ONLY 3 of us..

Appetizers - Spring rolls, Ribs, Seaweed, And prawn toast thing..
Starter - Crispy Duck Pancakes
Main - Noodles, Egg fried rice, Crispy chilli beef, Salt baked squid, King prawn Curry, King prawn sweet and sour (Hong Kong style), Chicken in black bean sauce, and im pretty sure there was something else
Pudding - Banana Fritter with added ice cream...

So 3 of us ate this disgusting amount of food and barely had any left overs..

Also to make things more interesting we were the ONLY people in the whole restaurant which was A odd and B kind of nice as it meant know on else had to witness this mass of intake of food between 3 of us..

Anyway all good things come to and end and i didn’t make as much of a fool out of myself as i did last time we all went out.. so in all i think it was a big success..

The Monkey

So..  This is been in my thoughts for a while and I’ve decided that I should voice them on here and if anyone has an opinion then it would be greatly appreciated.

When me and C (ex) started going out 4 years ago he gave me a toy monkey that used to be his from when he was little called Cheeky Charly.. or Charly monkey as he is fondly known in my house. Since that day I have slept with this monkey in my bed every night since this day.. Apart from when C was staying I thought that might have been a little odd.

Anyway he was a very useful companion through these 4 years esp when C joined the Royal Marines and was away a lot of the time on Exercise and then when he left for Afghanistan for 7 months he was also extremely useful just to have something that made me feel close to him.

However since me and C have broken up, in the mind has always been the thought of .. is this weird to still have my ex's childhood toy in my bed most nights.. i think it is a little .. but ive spent more time with this stuffed monkey than i ever did with C, Weird no..

I have managed to give back most of C's things that he had at my house but not Charly Monkey.. Do we think now is the time i should be brave enough to give it back... I am after all 22 and really should have grown out of sleeping with a stuffed animal !!

Who knows...

Why does a hangover always follow a good night?

So currently I am lying on my sisters sofa in Parsons Green, London trying to recover from what is a pretty large hangover....  I'm lying here watching "Sister Act" with Whoopee Goldberg and her massive Afro  and feeling slightly sorry for myself I thought I would update the Internet world with my last 42 hours.

Friday 5pm - I left work a little early on Friday as I was traveling up to London for the weekend to see my sister P.  I live in a little place in Devon called Topsham and i usefully work there as well. So with my brilliant thinking i booked a train from Topsham to Exeter to get my train to Paddington. I got to Topsham train station in loads of time and managed to hurl myself and my GIANT suitcase on board. (a little side note on the fact it looked like i was going traveling for 2 years with the size of suitcase I had for a weekend trip to London.. My sisters car had broken so my mother decided the best thing was for her to buy the part and then for me to just bring it on up.. this would have been fine if it was a wing mirror or maybe a windscreen wiper..but oo no.. it was a bloody starter moto which had to be taken in a box.. so my mother rocks up to work with my holiday suitcase and we decided the best thing is for me to re pack into = me looking like i was moving to London and not just going for the weekend) So on to the train i jump with plenty on time before my connecting train to London.. as we reach Exeter Central i had 12 minutes till me train left Exeter St Davids and on rocks most of the homeless community of Exeter who were off on some jolly including black bin liners, dogs, cages (for the dogs I'm guessing) and then the train didn't move.. Brilliant.. with 4 minutes till me train left i was still sat at Central.. when the driver then climbs back on the train says he was sorry but someone didn't change the light so we can now leave.. At arriving at Exeter St Davids with 0 minutes spare me and 3 other traveller's run up the steps, along a bridge, down steps whilst shouting Stop That Train (very movie trailer ... sadly i was wearing my work clothes, a little sweaty and lugging a giant suitcase .. i was not gracefully!!!) The train was there... still stationary however with the doors closed... 4 of us stood by the doors , looking at the train man .. "can we get on the train " Train man " No" i felt like he was playing a part in Little Britain. "why not " came from another commuter (i was still struggling to breath and lugging my suitcase so i could use it as some kind of battering ram at the man should the need present its self. Trains man response was " sorry doors are closed" BRILLIANT.. so the doors are closed the train is still stationary surly we can open the door and get in but apparently no as he lifts his stupid red flag and the train took off... So there i am at a platform with a giant suitcase, still slightly red in the face and not really sure what to do. Thankfully a suitably angry man helped me out with this situation as we went ballistic at the train man. Once he had finished shouting and wondered off i very pleasantly asked about the next train and if i could get on it with the ticket i had. After being shouted at the train man was very nice.. and told me the next train was in an hour and yes i could use the same ticket.. (bit of information for those often are late for trains and only by a ticket for that one train you've missed.. if you tell the next train person your connecting train was late.. the let u on that train... (valuable bit of advice there so use at your descession)

Once i finally arrive in London  Paddington it is now 9.30 and dark. Now those of you that know me i am a total county bumpkin and possibly a little dangerous in the big bad city. I have successfully managed the tubes all on my own ONCE.. and this was in daylight. So trying to succeed a second time in the dark whilst lugging my person sized suitcase around wasn't looking like a great start. However surprisingly to everyone i managed it. Also managed to fall in love on the 10 minutes tube to Parsons close TWICE.. I might start to like this city after all.. So this was my pretty eventful night that was Friday.. well i thought it was.. after having a few glasses of wine with my sister while she was talking to the lovely RAC man who was fixing her car we both pottered of to bed around 1.30.. 2am came and P's boyfriend G rocked up after a night out with the lads.. On top form as always him and a friend bouldered on into my room and preceded to "try" and talk and have another bottle of beer sat on my bedroom floor.

Saturday - Saturday was a much better day. P and myself went shopping on Kings Street - Super brilliant shops and I managed to buy the same dress I already have in White instead of Blue.. Well done tills brilliant shopping... After managing to buy the same dress me and P got back home grabbed a rather queasy looking G and went to find a few cold bottles of something and sat in the park soaking up some of the beautiful sunshine. After contacting a mutual family friend ares who also lived with P and G for some time when he first set out in London we agreed to meet for a few drinks. J rocked up the house and after a quick chit chat we wondered of to go for a few drinks and a BBQ. This is where i think my night went a little wrong.. well might not of been here but it could possibly could have been the .. Pimms, Cider, Wine, Gin, and Vodka. Shocker... After having a slight issue with the BBQ and J ordering a avocado and bacon burger and being given something totally different with the waiter trying to explain the brown sauce in it was the avocado he wanted.. and G was given a whole new burger that wasn't even on the menu it all went swimmingly. After moving inside and moving on to different drinks from the wine , it was my turn to get the round in. Brilliant i have done this 100s of times before and really ordering drinks was easy... apparently not. After being told 2 rum and cokes, a gin and slim line and a vodka soda and lime.. i returned to the table with 2 whiskey and cokes.. not even Jack Daniels... Bells.. and 2 gin and tonics.. Not entirely sure how this came about but it was interesting to say the least. apparently it was around this time that i turned to G and asked in a very quiet voice... "could you just get me some water please" and then returned to my slight shouting/talking that i am famous for. Once home i passed out with in about 2 seconds and woke up this morning not feeling quite 100%.

However after getting up and showered (located a rash on my stomach and instantly thought i might have had meningitis .. found a glass to roll over it... and we are looking like i should be fine) we went for breakfast which was delish. To which we returned home and this leaves us at our exact position where I'm lying on the sofa still watching a little bit of Whoopee doing her thing on Sister Act.

However i really need to move as i have to go back and catch a train home to devon ... Fingers crossed i catch this one.. If not i have my niffy bit of new information..

Girls night = Diet Fail

Another thing you should know about me is im more on the curvier side of life. I'm surprisingly happy with my shape but recently me and a girlfriend have decided to go on holiday to Portugal for a few days of sun where we can indulge in Sun, Sand and Sangria.. So I’ve decided to go on a diet for the 6 weeks I have left till I have to expose myself to the rest of the human race in a bikini (I have dreams where Portuguese men run down the beach and try and shove me of the beach as they think I might have beached myself..) .. However I have found a flaw in my plan... Girls Night... I really enjoy girl’s night. Normally we all meet on a Thursday evening and try and right all the wrongs in the world with a nice bottle of wine and some food. When were all together there are about 10 of us who meet but normally someone can’t join for some reason or another so on average there’s about 5-7 of us who get together at any one time. Last night was a good turn out as 7 of us managed to find ourselves in Exeter at one of our houses where we proceeded to buy out the Co-op of pizza, garlic bread, chocolate, crisps, dips, and anything else that shouldn’t be eaten by a girl with a metabolism that a snail could beat in a 100 meter race... nether the less we sat and ate and ate.. Slightly sad as all my hard work of only eating cardboard slightly gone to waste.. But then again it’s the first time I’ve felt full in at least 4 days..

Lonely Hearts

What do we think it means in a lonely hearts advert when someone advertises that they would like “no strings fun"... Married, Weird, Slight kidnapping tendencies ... Surely if your in the lonely hearts column you are looking for strings.. Maybe there should be a One night stand column .. Imagine how many people would advertise.. Then again there is the "Personal" adverts where the lovely Kula works just off the M5 and can do day and night calls with her traversing masseuse services..

The Start!!!

Hi my name is Tilly but if you’re feeling a tad posher you can refer to me as Matilda. Apparently I was named after the Rod Stuart song Waltzing Matilda which I believe is about a man wanting to borrow some money of a friend to take Matilda the local prostitute out dancing.. Thanks parents. Sadly there is also another version of the song that is sung by rugby players.

Anyway I thought I would start a blog to write down some bits and pieces about me. Im 22 years old and as any of you who would know sometimes its harder being in your early 20's than being 13 again.. Going through a pretty rough time at the moment but thankfully coming out the other side of it now. Recently been dumped by my long term boyfriend because after 4 years he decided that actually im not want he wanted and there was no chance of him ever wanting kids and marriage.. Brilliant.. I don’t no about the rest of you but apparently this is a little glitch in the road that we call life. So I thought I handled it pretty well apart from the screaming and crying, slight suicide tendencies and feeling like the whole world possibly could have ended.. However im glad to announce I am on the up.. Obviously when I next see him I will probably want to pour boiling oil over his body but I think that’s perfectly normal.

I should also point out im slightly on the dyslexic side of life. Not that this is bad thing I quite enjoy it in a slightly odd way and makes me me.. so just a heads up on the spellings, language, and that possibly nothing I write will actually makes sense.. Anyway hopefully I will keep this up and I will keep everyone informed of my day to day life and what is new.. Almost exciting being single again.. Haven’t been since I was 17/18 so this should be interesting!!! Gosh I do hope some those dating games might have disappeared by now. I was/am one of those girls who can never wait 24 hours to return a txt message from the day before that simply said "how are you"  and normally from a boy I don’t even fancy.  I definitely  think im more of one those slightly scary girls that almost have there wedding dress planned and the table plan laid out for the wedding by the end of the first bottle of Sauvignon Blanc.. so should cause for some interesting occasions.