First things first.. sorry to ruin the surprise for those of you that either A haven’t been on Facebook and for some reason missed all activity regarding Funday this year or B you have no idea what im talking about ... However... WELL BLOODY DONE PLUME TEAM...
Right first things first.. Those of you that don’t understand what Funday is.. here is a small explanation.. (a little like that song Scotland
Portscatho Funday is..... Amazing, Drunken, Naked, Fish, Flour, Robin Edwards Dressed as a women.., Most men dressed as women, Simon Holman’s hair looking better than anyone else’s, Drunken, Dancing, Dancing in the street, Games, More nakedness, More alcohol, Eating..., Small children dancing, More games, Throwing up... you get the gist..
Anyway over Friday night to Sunday afternoon the terrific Committee team of Funday think up 9 Horribly disgusting games for teams to participate in.. Each game will include one or more of the following.. Alcohol (normally a boat race of some kind), Eating (actually edible food... should you believe it), Nakedness, 10 day old fish, Running, Flour, A obstacle course and possibly more drinking and eating.. After 4 fundays i allowed myself to sit out of a team this year... although i think i was always only in a team for plain amusement value.... this year i left that up to my darling elder brother...
Friday .... The Games started with a boat race with a twist where each team had to unpack a suitcase of clothes.. put them all and the down a pint... nice and simple.. you would think... until you work out you have a pair of shoes for a toddler... well done orange team there.. well planned!!!!
Then the eating games.... Cold cottage pie with added sprouts, grapes, cherries and other lovely things, Followed by a trifle.. with added white bait.... and then to finish a chilli jelly through a straw... Delish.. (sounds a little like easy jet food anyway.. )
Followed by a bit of a dance.. now I don’t want to shout about it.. but my dance moves are sometimes pretty amazing.. lets be sure the lawnmower dance more did come out and about... managed to walk home just about with our party of people where we then picked at our cold supper and I managed to pass out...
8am on Saturday... no one was looking pretty... pink paint was covering everything from sheets to body parts.. (pink being our team colour which we were helping supporting where the plume team) ...
Games began at 10:30 however we managed to miss the start time and went for a rather damp walk around St Mawes... by midday we were at the football ground watching the last of the second games finish which involved a plane ... don’t ask.. However the drinking began here as it was a £1 for a can of beer or cider and it was mandatory everyone was drinking.... Brilliant
Third games was involving a human hamster wheel (told you the games were pretty intense) you had to stand inside roll down a slight hill as a pair, then out over some ramps, up the other side of the field on a 2 man bouncy ball, then over some bars and back to the beginning and the next pair went..
More drinking followed on after this game and a little walk back down to the village which wasn’t great if you were wearing flip flops.. que me a very muddy slidey steep path and holding on to roots of trees for dear life as a man at the bottom shook my cider whilst going… “come on tilly… come on… “ like a little dog!! Thanks..
Game 6 occurred on the beach where you had to lie on a wooden sun lounger whilst one picked it up and rolled u into the sea fully clothed back up the beach and then ring out your clothes and collect as much water as possible… each team were also allowed a towel.. again much easier for teams with real towels… que Orange team with there flannel!! Well done oranges…
A LOT of nakedness occurred… (you did get added bonus points for being naked.. however not sure I had had quite enough to drink at this point... please see below)
Game 7 involved the fish… Ling on a string was back…(see below) If you don’t know what a ling is it’s a gigantic eel about the same length as a large toddler.. 5 of these where then tided to a bit of string… and were so old they had to be stitched up as they were beginning to fall apart!! These where then passed up and under your clothes followed by eating crab pate on dry weatabix and then downing some ale through small straws while sat in something that looked like sick… HMMM….
Everyone then proceeded to get drunker and drunker.. brilliant just before the parade… que a lot of people turning up at my house for dressing and make up… never before did I think I would make boys look like such good slutty airhostess.. but I managed it… blue eye shadow.. too much blusher… red lippy… they were looking hot!!
Once walking through Portscatho dressed in very inappropriate clothing and drinking turbo pims but the bottle … we all had a very good night.. a lot of dancing in the street, old school songs, a land rover that looked like it was either A dancing or B about to brake its suspension as the flat bed it was pulling was being danced on by a lot of people.. Followed by a rather brilliant Portscatho social club disco..
After not remembering a lot I woke up at friends house fully clothes at 8am on Sunday morning… thanks very much my gillyman for the lending on your spare room… the only thing I really remember is making a super spicy pizza that I pretended was fine whilst my mouth was on fire…and being picked up by a man in the kitchen… strange very strange…
I would like to tell you what happened on Sunday but in all honesty I cant remember as I thought I was going to die for most of the day!!! The main importance was my brother swallowing a wasp and then being stung in the back of throat… once pumped full of drugs was back on the drink… That’s my brother.. Good work!!!
Anyway 2 more games took place… and the pink team… the team the Knowles + extras were supporting won.. so well bloody done all in your efforts in… now throwing up, drinking to much, getting naked, and genially being the best bloody team there was..
OVER AND OUT…
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