It has been one exciting, drunken, weird, fattening, darn good week................... SO... Lets begin
My beautiful elder sister is engaged... How very exciting.. I got a phone call on Tuesday last week at 1:30am - P being in New York at the time I thought she was just pissed and possibly spotted Tom Cruise and felt that I needed to know about it.. so I may have cancelled her once or twice.. it was only when i had a phone call from G that i thought i should probably answer the call. P was at the end of the phone and told me G had asked her to marry him.... well Thats what I think she said because there was quite a lot of high pitched squealing at the other end... obviously my first thought was DAM IT she will use up all the wedding fund.... although im sure there will be some more available in 2089 when actually find a deaf blind man to marry me... but obviously after that i was some what over excited and spent the rest of the night thinking up what i could say in my speech.. yes i will be making a speech.. not that they know that yet..I like to think it will be a joyous surprise for them.. I am very well known for what fantastic off the cuff speeches, those that attended my fathers 60th will know what i mean... (sadly it was possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of my life, whilst being a little pissed on turbo pims and seemed to thank my father in front of 50 or so of his closest friends for sending us to private school and not being mean to our X boyfriends or Girlfriends... Awkward doesn't even cut it... particuly as my closing words were saying rather to loudly so people thought i was still talking " Off the Bloody Cuff... Off the Bloody cuff"... Yes ladies and Gentlemen i am very good at speeches... i think also at my 21st I thanked C for coming all the way from Afghanistan and my French friend from coming from Salisbury he'd come from Southampton...) So i'm sure P and G are might looking forward to it... then again.... I might just listen to everyone else do there speeches.. after all P might put me in some canary yellow big bird outfit with more bows that a sugar plum fairy would have, so I might not even be able to stand up..
Also very exciting... I have booked a holiday to Dubai... Well me and B are going to Dubai ( B is a friend from Cornwall so least i feel a lot safer about going with someone.. else knowing me i would end up on a flight to Timbuck Too and be married for 2 goats and chicken) So we are going in March.. Can't actually wait.. going to go and annoy our friend F who lives out there.. So should be good to have a good old catch up.. plus a tan in March.. HELLO.. Also this is something i can now mark off on my Life to do list.. We are going well so far with the list! However sadly the thought of losing 89 stone before going on said holiday is a little bit daunting and doesn't help when your a foody like me... I was thinking the other night the best possibly outcome is that I find a Feeder... one of those men who like to feed there women... and then I could possibly feature in Closer Magazine about how i make £89,000 per year while men watch me eat... (blugh just made myself feel a bit sick then)
Other than that not a lot else has happened that's exiting im afraid.. Although the other night when I couldn't sleep and had 67 thousands things whirling around inside my head I thought I would write some down in a almost poem type fashion.. at the time i thought it was good... however when i read it back the other morning i actually laughed out loud at how poor it was... No wonder school told me i couldn't take A level English..
Wednesday 30 November 2011
Saturday 19 November 2011
Massive Cringe ....
You know when sometimes you have those moments that actually makes your whole body pulls it self in because your cringing so much your muscles all tighten up and you try to make yourself that bit smaller ... and you pull that slightly awkward weird face and your eyes get closer together and your mouth suddenly does something very weird... Yer I had one of those moments...
So .. at work we deal with all kinds of customers.. some nice, some not so nice as most people in there jobs will find.. however we seem to also deal with the deluded..
We have one applicant who is looking for a house, he must mid 60s to 70s - and pretty sure he might be starting to lose the plot a little bit.. every time he comes in to the office.. a good once or twice a week he tells us the same story's.... literally I can tell you more about his life than I can my own.. which lets be honest we all have Parents/Grandparents like that so its fine... apart from when he starts lambasting our houses because he was in the building trade you know.. and I don't think he understands that when your DOWNSIZING a house this actually means your house will be SMALLER.. he seems to want a small bungalow where each room is 70' x 80'.. and under a certain price bracket.. obviously this does not exist.
Anyway.. every time he comes in me and my colleges take it in turn to deal with him because more than once a week you'll end up either pulling your hair out or shouting at him.. not the best customer service one feels.
So.. about a week ago he booked a viewing for a flat (he hates flats.. so not sure why ) and then never turned up.. so 2 hours after the viewing we get a phone call from out lovely elderly lady vendor who said he was down stairs but she didn't want to let him up was that ok? what a sweetheart.. obviously we told her that was fine, we would contact him and get another appointment booked.. that we did.. so a week later.. off he went to look at it..
Four hours later he turns up in our office - at this point J who sits opposite the door spots this and does a runner.. thanks J... So i'm left to deal with him... as he walks in the door.. "hello gorgeous" to me ... ugh instantly my gag reflex kicked in.. He then goes on to tell me that our Vendor was... "very nice" (I could almost see him rubbing his legs together.. so AWKWARD) and did she have a husband.. to which I automatically said yes.. our poor vendor did not now need a stalker on top of everything else.. his response was .. " Thats a shame... I'm in need of a good fling i am..." whilst leering at me never felt so uncomfortable felt like saying My face is up here thanks love!!.... honestly thought I was either going to cry with embarrassment, laugh in his face or die .. J by this point was standing by the photocopier as she laughing so much she couldn't sit at her desk.. He then proceeded to tell me he had been recently dumped and continued on about how he was sad as he quite liked her and how they often spent the night together... I seriously swear my body had practically folded in on its self i was cringing so much... after a while I just went.. " well sorry that property wasn't for you, we will let you know should something come up, " turned back to my computer and tried to ignore him.. Thankfully after 5 minutes he kind of got the picture but only after telling me my phone system was wrong and he tried to call us 10 times this morning.... weird as we hadn't had any other complaints.. Anyway by the time he left i felt like i need a good scrub down and took a good hour before my body uncurled its self from the cringing...
Anyway so after that awkward moment... what else has been happening... Not a lot sadly.. Managed to go to the gym TWICE this week.. I know ill be a size 8 before you know it.. sadly at the moment I look a little more like a chubby extra from Fame.. If anyone has a head band and some electric pink leg warmers it would really finish of the look..
I've also started a kind of Life to do list... containing things like... Do a parachute jump, Travel around Italy (coincidence or not but I started talking to a Italian the other night and I mentioned I wanted to go to Rome, He's from Rome... coincidence or fate..)
Also recently been considering going proper brunette.. those of you that don't know me - I am a fan of the old peroxide so would be a bit of a change.. naturally i am a brunette but more a mousy brown that isn't really a colour so would be thinking of going chocolate brown.. still need to speak my hairdresser and see what she says... I do this because I've known her so long she'll tell me what she thinks.. a while ago i wanted a bob told her and the look on her face instantly put me off.. after i asked if she thought it would work her response was.. well.. i just don't think you'll like it.. haha...
Anyway.. thats all for now folks... Hopefully something exciting might happen today/tonight.. never know might meet prince charming himself..... Is harry in the South West this weekend??
So .. at work we deal with all kinds of customers.. some nice, some not so nice as most people in there jobs will find.. however we seem to also deal with the deluded..
We have one applicant who is looking for a house, he must mid 60s to 70s - and pretty sure he might be starting to lose the plot a little bit.. every time he comes in to the office.. a good once or twice a week he tells us the same story's.... literally I can tell you more about his life than I can my own.. which lets be honest we all have Parents/Grandparents like that so its fine... apart from when he starts lambasting our houses because he was in the building trade you know.. and I don't think he understands that when your DOWNSIZING a house this actually means your house will be SMALLER.. he seems to want a small bungalow where each room is 70' x 80'.. and under a certain price bracket.. obviously this does not exist.
Anyway.. every time he comes in me and my colleges take it in turn to deal with him because more than once a week you'll end up either pulling your hair out or shouting at him.. not the best customer service one feels.
So.. about a week ago he booked a viewing for a flat (he hates flats.. so not sure why ) and then never turned up.. so 2 hours after the viewing we get a phone call from out lovely elderly lady vendor who said he was down stairs but she didn't want to let him up was that ok? what a sweetheart.. obviously we told her that was fine, we would contact him and get another appointment booked.. that we did.. so a week later.. off he went to look at it..
Four hours later he turns up in our office - at this point J who sits opposite the door spots this and does a runner.. thanks J... So i'm left to deal with him... as he walks in the door.. "hello gorgeous" to me ... ugh instantly my gag reflex kicked in.. He then goes on to tell me that our Vendor was... "very nice" (I could almost see him rubbing his legs together.. so AWKWARD) and did she have a husband.. to which I automatically said yes.. our poor vendor did not now need a stalker on top of everything else.. his response was .. " Thats a shame... I'm in need of a good fling i am..." whilst leering at me never felt so uncomfortable felt like saying My face is up here thanks love!!.... honestly thought I was either going to cry with embarrassment, laugh in his face or die .. J by this point was standing by the photocopier as she laughing so much she couldn't sit at her desk.. He then proceeded to tell me he had been recently dumped and continued on about how he was sad as he quite liked her and how they often spent the night together... I seriously swear my body had practically folded in on its self i was cringing so much... after a while I just went.. " well sorry that property wasn't for you, we will let you know should something come up, " turned back to my computer and tried to ignore him.. Thankfully after 5 minutes he kind of got the picture but only after telling me my phone system was wrong and he tried to call us 10 times this morning.... weird as we hadn't had any other complaints.. Anyway by the time he left i felt like i need a good scrub down and took a good hour before my body uncurled its self from the cringing...
Anyway so after that awkward moment... what else has been happening... Not a lot sadly.. Managed to go to the gym TWICE this week.. I know ill be a size 8 before you know it.. sadly at the moment I look a little more like a chubby extra from Fame.. If anyone has a head band and some electric pink leg warmers it would really finish of the look..
I've also started a kind of Life to do list... containing things like... Do a parachute jump, Travel around Italy (coincidence or not but I started talking to a Italian the other night and I mentioned I wanted to go to Rome, He's from Rome... coincidence or fate..)
Also recently been considering going proper brunette.. those of you that don't know me - I am a fan of the old peroxide so would be a bit of a change.. naturally i am a brunette but more a mousy brown that isn't really a colour so would be thinking of going chocolate brown.. still need to speak my hairdresser and see what she says... I do this because I've known her so long she'll tell me what she thinks.. a while ago i wanted a bob told her and the look on her face instantly put me off.. after i asked if she thought it would work her response was.. well.. i just don't think you'll like it.. haha...
Anyway.. thats all for now folks... Hopefully something exciting might happen today/tonight.. never know might meet prince charming himself..... Is harry in the South West this weekend??
Monday 14 November 2011
Tar Barrels, Zumba, and a night out..
Hi all...
Now its been a good few weeks since I did one of these.. but as you know I don’t often write innless there is something to write about ... so here I am... however no-one get to excited im not about to announce im engaged, preggers, rich, fallen in love, or brought a new pair of knickers I feel I have to tell you about. Just a general update -
Still slightly going through a midlife (mid 20's) Crises but im thinking this will soon by pass me and ill be back to thinking im a young spritely 15 year old again soon im sure of it..
So.... Firework night has been and gone and I had my first ever exciting adventure of The Tar Barrels.. Now im not going to lie.. Seriously what is up with that.. thousands on thousands of people in a tiny little village where at one point I swear I was "moshing" in a high street... and sadly being the 5ft 6/7 that I am I could barely see my friends let alone a flaming bloody tar barrel.. so I set my sights on the bottle of gin an tonic and plum vodka I had in my handbag... Although, this is probably a good thing I didn’t get to close to the barrels as we all already know im a little accident prone and when we first arrived we were pretty close to one and think I almost weed myself a little I was so scared.. actually I almost did this alot because it took an HOUR to que for the toilets... you had to practically pee, get a drink and stand at the back of the que again because by the time you get to the front it will be time to pee again.. (cue my first experience of peeing in a mans toilet) Although.. there was one exciting/dangerous/thought I was going to die moment happened was when B thought it would be a great idea to go on a rollacosta thing called Adrenalin Rush.... yer....I did not cope well... I also think its the longest time I have ever been stone silent ... everyone was waving there hands in the air and screaming.. I had my arms crossed like I had already died, staring at a light fitting, whilst a few tears ran down my face... I swear I was going to die.. After getting off said Adrenalin rush none of us could walk properly for a good 15 minutes which was another brilliant reason for bringing the plum vodka.... However I have this fun new game that my love V already knows about called The Embarrassing Game...
I am a big fan.. So whilst I was having my first experience of a mosh pit in a town centre I asked B if she wanted to play.. sadly she didn’t ask me the rules of the games but she agreed anyway.. So here is the game... mainly you do your best to embarrass each other... I kept tapping nice men on the back/ugly men and declaring my friend Sophie (B).. Really liked the look of them but was just to shy to say anything so could they go talk to her...I found this hilarious.. B not so .. still I was entertained... I once played this game with V in a night club inFalmouth
Not a lot else is happening at the moment im afraid.. I actually attended the gym the other night … Zumba… now that was interesting… standing in a room with 22 other women (and one man… good on him) whilst we danced around and grinded our hips and body popped… and what with my lack of co-ordination I was something of a dream and slightly put out that women a good 20 years older than me were body popping like its gone out of style.. Good work ladies.. then again it has been a while since I grinded my hips… (Haha this actually just made me laugh our loud… Sorry parents, God parents, Older generation that know me and read this…)
Saturday I was having a bit of an off day but that all got put to rights with a nice lunch down on the Exeter Quay in the sunshine (and yes it was a date, so that was kind of nice to do.. very nice and relaxed and he was a surgeon.. hello super grown up job felt a bit of dyslexic weirdo but still.. bit of fun hey, also very opposite to my usual type with the old short back and sides military look … however still keeping the uniform kind of in there)
Saturday night was all about getting dressed up and going out… so after 2 bottles of pink fizz at mine with the girls out we went… Black dresses on, Make up on, High heels… not so much.. uggs.. bit more me as I wanted to dance the night away, Tights pulled up to somewhere near my neck meaning that I could wear nice pants and not the Bridget’s.. I still have a fear that the one night I get lucky there ill be standing in Knickers bigger than my whole outfit put together.../ look a bit like im in some body suit.. Not attractive..
After a bit of pubbing off we went into town.. Went to Mama Stones for a bit before vacating and hitting the good old TP.. Brilliant night of dancing, shots, dancing, ect continued.. At 2am the lights came on… always a shocker… normally because you work out the Ben Affleck cross with Ryan Reynolds look alike bloke your talking to turns out to be Homer Simpson.. it’s a bit a run for the hills moment.. Thank god for the uggs... whilst meandering to the taxi rank like good girls we decide to see if we can get into firehouse.. we couldn’t.. However by this point I decided I needed to wee … so after a lot of badgering the nice bouncer if I could run in and pee and offering him my Mulberry handbag… This was dire time’s people… DIRE… he let me in.. Only after laughing at me at the cost of the handbag..
Once inside I pumped into the surgeon which was nice.. After probably staying a little longer inside than I was meant to, I left the firehouse to find the girls.. Girls = a negative.. … so after a few phone calls and only getting A who could only describe the fact they were somewhere near Debenhams but not Debenhams I ended up standing outside Topshop waiting on a unknown man to come and find me to take me to the girls.. cue slightly concerned me whilst in my head there was music going .. dur na.. dur na… dur na dur na dur na (that is the theme tune to jaws if no one gets that) and wondering the best way to get the girls and then get away whilst not being raped and murdered in Exeter city centre.. thankfully.. the boy was actually very pleasant and not a murdering type at all.. So after a bit of a party in some nice strange mans flat we ended up in a taxi heading for home at 4am…
All I can say is that yesterday being Sunday was not a good day…however I have found a new favourite thing that makes you feel better with a hangover… a round of applause .. after having lunch at the Passage with a few people to help clear the hangover we decided to name something we had done that weekend that would earn us a around of applause it went from…. Doing the dirty deed to kissing to the fact we actually got out of bed on such a horrific hangover.. The rest of the afternoon consisted of X factor, Tea, and a hot water bottle.. Hello middle age im ready!!!!
Now its been a good few weeks since I did one of these.. but as you know I don’t often write innless there is something to write about ... so here I am... however no-one get to excited im not about to announce im engaged, preggers, rich, fallen in love, or brought a new pair of knickers I feel I have to tell you about. Just a general update -
Still slightly going through a midlife (mid 20's) Crises but im thinking this will soon by pass me and ill be back to thinking im a young spritely 15 year old again soon im sure of it..
So.... Firework night has been and gone and I had my first ever exciting adventure of The Tar Barrels.. Now im not going to lie.. Seriously what is up with that.. thousands on thousands of people in a tiny little village where at one point I swear I was "moshing" in a high street... and sadly being the 5ft 6/7 that I am I could barely see my friends let alone a flaming bloody tar barrel.. so I set my sights on the bottle of gin an tonic and plum vodka I had in my handbag... Although, this is probably a good thing I didn’t get to close to the barrels as we all already know im a little accident prone and when we first arrived we were pretty close to one and think I almost weed myself a little I was so scared.. actually I almost did this alot because it took an HOUR to que for the toilets... you had to practically pee, get a drink and stand at the back of the que again because by the time you get to the front it will be time to pee again.. (cue my first experience of peeing in a mans toilet) Although.. there was one exciting/dangerous/thought I was going to die moment happened was when B thought it would be a great idea to go on a rollacosta thing called Adrenalin Rush.... yer....I did not cope well... I also think its the longest time I have ever been stone silent ... everyone was waving there hands in the air and screaming.. I had my arms crossed like I had already died, staring at a light fitting, whilst a few tears ran down my face... I swear I was going to die.. After getting off said Adrenalin rush none of us could walk properly for a good 15 minutes which was another brilliant reason for bringing the plum vodka.... However I have this fun new game that my love V already knows about called The Embarrassing Game...
I am a big fan.. So whilst I was having my first experience of a mosh pit in a town centre I asked B if she wanted to play.. sadly she didn’t ask me the rules of the games but she agreed anyway.. So here is the game... mainly you do your best to embarrass each other... I kept tapping nice men on the back/ugly men and declaring my friend Sophie (B).. Really liked the look of them but was just to shy to say anything so could they go talk to her...I found this hilarious.. B not so .. still I was entertained... I once played this game with V in a night club in
Not a lot else is happening at the moment im afraid.. I actually attended the gym the other night … Zumba… now that was interesting… standing in a room with 22 other women (and one man… good on him) whilst we danced around and grinded our hips and body popped… and what with my lack of co-ordination I was something of a dream and slightly put out that women a good 20 years older than me were body popping like its gone out of style.. Good work ladies.. then again it has been a while since I grinded my hips… (Haha this actually just made me laugh our loud… Sorry parents, God parents, Older generation that know me and read this…)
Saturday I was having a bit of an off day but that all got put to rights with a nice lunch down on the Exeter Quay in the sunshine (and yes it was a date, so that was kind of nice to do.. very nice and relaxed and he was a surgeon.. hello super grown up job felt a bit of dyslexic weirdo but still.. bit of fun hey, also very opposite to my usual type with the old short back and sides military look … however still keeping the uniform kind of in there)
Saturday night was all about getting dressed up and going out… so after 2 bottles of pink fizz at mine with the girls out we went… Black dresses on, Make up on, High heels… not so much.. uggs.. bit more me as I wanted to dance the night away, Tights pulled up to somewhere near my neck meaning that I could wear nice pants and not the Bridget’s.. I still have a fear that the one night I get lucky there ill be standing in Knickers bigger than my whole outfit put together.../ look a bit like im in some body suit.. Not attractive..
After a bit of pubbing off we went into town.. Went to Mama Stones for a bit before vacating and hitting the good old TP.. Brilliant night of dancing, shots, dancing, ect continued.. At 2am the lights came on… always a shocker… normally because you work out the Ben Affleck cross with Ryan Reynolds look alike bloke your talking to turns out to be Homer Simpson.. it’s a bit a run for the hills moment.. Thank god for the uggs... whilst meandering to the taxi rank like good girls we decide to see if we can get into firehouse.. we couldn’t.. However by this point I decided I needed to wee … so after a lot of badgering the nice bouncer if I could run in and pee and offering him my Mulberry handbag… This was dire time’s people… DIRE… he let me in.. Only after laughing at me at the cost of the handbag..
Once inside I pumped into the surgeon which was nice.. After probably staying a little longer inside than I was meant to, I left the firehouse to find the girls.. Girls = a negative.. … so after a few phone calls and only getting A who could only describe the fact they were somewhere near Debenhams but not Debenhams I ended up standing outside Topshop waiting on a unknown man to come and find me to take me to the girls.. cue slightly concerned me whilst in my head there was music going .. dur na.. dur na… dur na dur na dur na (that is the theme tune to jaws if no one gets that) and wondering the best way to get the girls and then get away whilst not being raped and murdered in Exeter city centre.. thankfully.. the boy was actually very pleasant and not a murdering type at all.. So after a bit of a party in some nice strange mans flat we ended up in a taxi heading for home at 4am…
All I can say is that yesterday being Sunday was not a good day…however I have found a new favourite thing that makes you feel better with a hangover… a round of applause .. after having lunch at the Passage with a few people to help clear the hangover we decided to name something we had done that weekend that would earn us a around of applause it went from…. Doing the dirty deed to kissing to the fact we actually got out of bed on such a horrific hangover.. The rest of the afternoon consisted of X factor, Tea, and a hot water bottle.. Hello middle age im ready!!!!
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